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[Feb. 25th, 2010|01:49 am] |
A Little Slice Of Insanity
 Full Name; Rachel Abigail Fox
Nicknames; Rach, Sweet Bottom, Foxy
Age & DOB; 33 & November 7th, 1976
Birth Place; Everett, Massachusetts
Parents; Peter Fox, Marcia Fox
Siblings; Molly [24], Jane [20]
Relationship; Single
Children; ----
Career; Resident of General Surgery at The New York Downtown Hospital
Lives; New York City, NY
Height; 5'7"
Weight; 113 lbs
Eye Color; Green
Hair Color; Sandy Blond
Defining Marks; none
Eyesight; perfect
Hearing; perfect
Dominant Hand; ambidextrous
Disabilities; Pessimism
Personality; Determined, Forceful, Compulsive, Secretive, Emotional, Intuitive,
& Passionate
First Impression; Quiet, Dark, Competitive
Behaviors; A loner since childhood, Rachel finds comfort in her work rather then in people. Medicine and science has purpose, reason, governing laws. She finds it easier to understand how a body works then how people work, something that can sometimes alienate her from the general public. The surgeon in her looks at people as machinery almost, forgetting that it's an actual life at times.
A pessimist since childhood, while most look at the glass half full, Rachel is determined to believe the glass is half empty. Because of this, she compulsively tries to do something more, always trying to fix the proverbial glass and make things better though she stubbornly insist nothing ever does get better.
Rachel suffers from many issues concerning her father, having purposely not seen him often her whole life - something that gives her little confidence when it comes to relationships. She always has and always will expect the worst out of men. She often has contemplated becoming a lesbian however she never gets the butterflies with women, only with men, nor does the sight of a naked woman excite her. Because of this, she instead dates a lot, has a lot of one night stands, and doesn't let things get complicated with men, keeping her distance.
Liquor is easily a crutch in Rachel's life. Though she does not drink when working, when not working she often can be found with a bottle of liquor in hand. She isn't picky about what she drinks though tequila is her favorite. She uses it as a way of not dealing with her issues or whatever the ER brings her way. Instead of processing it all, she represses it all till one day she overflows with heavy emotion. This cycle works for her, leaving her crying only once to twice a year if not at all.
 Since she has cut her family living and deceased out of her life, Rachel replaces these pivotal people with her friends. Their isn't anything Rachel wouldn't do for a friend, half the reason she owns a brown stone with five rooms and rents out all be one, her own room, to her friends. Her friends are what keep her sane, whole, and focused. They stop her from destroying herself and she stops them from becoming her.
History; Some children are never meant to be. Since the age of five, Rachel has been sure her being born and raised by her parents was a mistake. She knows her parents were happily married for three years before her birth, but her earliest memories surround the two forever fighting until finally when she was six they divorced. The divorce stopped the shouting, especially when her father moved out of the city and far away, giving Rachel a sense of abandonment she still lives with. Unfortunately though, the leaving of her father and divorcing of her parents was just the beginning of all her issues.
During her growth from child to adult, Rachel's mother always undermined her confidence, insisting her daughter was never bright enough, never worked hard enough, and would never be enough. Though this made her work harder, study harder, and endlessly try harder, it also left her with a sense of no purpose. She began to act out at times, sex being the first way. By the age of thirteen, behind her mother's back, she began dating an endless string of pointless young men, giving them exactly what they wanted of her body before walking away. It's amazing she never caught an STD or got pregnant, something as an adult she is grateful for. But the more she gave away her body and the more she strove to please her mother, the more she loss herself in a sea of numbness. Rachel became numb to the world. She didn't take joy in being valedictorian of her high school, of getting into Harvard med school, of being herself.
But then came college and with college came liquor. Rachel studied hard, aced her classes and examinations, but in her free time drank like a fish and found that she knew how to actually loosen up and have fun - well fun being dancing on bar tops, sleeping with hot guys, and then suffering from hang overs for days on end. It was an odd habit and life style to accept but she surprisingly found comfort in it all. If she kept life being a party, she kept life from getting too real. A philosophy that lasted from age eighteen to age twenty-five, when life got real with her surgical internship.
Alcohol in the next several years became a sweet comfort of the past. She gave up her endless drinking and hang overs for a man, a man who opened her eyes to the possibility that she could maybe one day be whole without the use of pessimism. His name for now is not important, the two lived together and dated for four years, their relationship serious and wonderful until the end of her internship. She took residency in New York and he refused to follow. He also didn't agree with her not wanting to get married and not being ready for children. He couldn't understand how she could be happy with the idea of just dating for life and never taking a further step.
Alcohol came back after being in New York for six months. Her mother, still the hateful woman she was during her childhood, died from a heart attack while over seas in London. Rachel was relieved in some ways by this, something that made her feel guilty. She never went without growing up. Never without food, never without clothing, never without shelter, never without money. Her mother paid for her education meaning everything she was making now was her own. She shouldn't have been so lucky, not when she felt relieved her mother was dead.
 And then came back the drinking. Light at first until she received a wedding invitation from her ex. He had found someone else. The drinking grew in intensity. As her career took more and more focus in life, so did men and meaningless one night stands all thanks to Jose Cuervo. One day though all of that changed. Admittedly Rachel hadn't been prepared to find the one person she was meant for, but she had.
It was a regular night in the ER where Rachel was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Patients kept pouring in, interns kept asking questions, and nurses kept giving her new cases. One case she was given was that of a young NYFD who had a roof collapse upon him and was having pain in his right shoulder while also suffering from difficult of breathing. Sure enough he was banged up pretty bad but he also was gorgeous. Rachel knew better then to find attraction to him but through the course of his next several days being on her floor and being her patient - she admittedly found it hard not to develop feelings for him. Eventually though the young man was released. Little did she know he would come back and track her down instead. The two began to date once he was no longer her patient and their relationship went strong and well for the first few months... but soon he was back to work full time and with her work schedule... well before she knew it he was gone.
These days Rachel doesn't drink much. Since the young man she hasn't attempted to date and all and has no plans of ever trying again. She still from time to time hears about a service man being in the ER and panics until she's sure it isn't her guy injured. She also watches the news and notices every story about a fire only to feel herself worry. Though she barely knows him, on some level, Rachel believes she'll always love this guy she knew for such a short time. She blames their careers for their drifting but she holds no ill will against him or it. The timing just wasn't right.
Rachel's Rules To Live Your Life By
#01; Work comes first. Never go into work drunk. Never sleep with your boss or a colleague. Never cross the patient doctor line. Work is important so be smart about it.
#02; You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. So fuck your family, and make a new one with your friends. Make sure these are people you can count on and make sure they can count on you. Friendship is about equal give and take. Don't allow the wrong people in.
#03; Love is pointless. It feels good and bad all at once so ignore the butterflies and trust your head. You're heart can lie, but logic doesn't. Logic will keep you above water.
#04; Use a condom. Always use a condom. Cause the guy may say he is clean but do you really want to trust him? Him who is a stranger and could have slept with god knows who? Especially when he has no problem sleeping with you who is a stranger? Fuck what he says, use a fucking condom.
#05; Don't shit where you eat & sleep. Meaning? You do not have sex with a roommate or anyone who lives in the same apartment building or even lives within a two block radius. Don't fuck the bartender at your favorite bar, or the clerk at your favorite book shop. All this means is that when someone gets hurt, you can no longer go to these places and feel comfortable. So don't shit where you eat & sleep.
#06; Lying is pointless, the truth will always come out and bite you on the ass. So be as honest as possible, lie only when absolutely necessary and you are prepared to deal with the consequences.
#07; Blackmail never works. The person will either come out clean before you get what you want or, they will dig up dirt on you and a full out war is on your hands now. So don't blackmail people. It's stupid to try.
#08; Don't make excuses. You did something wrong then live up to it. Don't try to find reasoning to why you did it and offer it up as an apology. Excuses are stupid. No one wants your damn excuses. So don't give excuses, give solutions on how to repair what damage you caused and be prepared for the consequences cause their are always consequences.
#09; Treat others similarly to how you want them to treat you. Don't want attention from them? Then stop starting conversations. Want someone to ask you out? Flirt with him. Want to be friends with someone? Be friendly. Hate someone and want them to hate you? Tell them your deepest darkest secret then when they tell everyone, deny ever saying it and call them a huge liar. They'll hate you, you'll hate them, and everyone else will be confused. It's fun to watch really.
#10; Don't analyze other people and their problems unless you are prepared to have them do the same back to you. Don't give advice unless you are prepared to receive advice. And never bite the messenger's head off. They're innocent. Instead thank them for whatever information they gave then kill whoever really did something against you. (Kill does NOT mean actually take their life.) |
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